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WHAT HE SAYS
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WHAT HE MEANS
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“I’m going fishing”
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“I’m going to drink myself dangerously
stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish
swim by in complete safety.”
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“It’s a guy thing”
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“There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”
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“Can i help with dinner?”
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“Why isn’t dinner already on the table?”
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“Uh huh,” “Sure, honey,” or “Yes, dear…”
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Absolutely nothing.
It’s a conditioned response.
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“It would take too long to explain”
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“I have no idea how it works.”
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“I was listening to you. it’s just that i have things on my mind.”
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“I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra.”
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“Take a break honey, you are working too hard.”
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“I can’t hear
the game over the vacuum cleaner.”
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“That’s interesting, dear.”
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“Are you still talking?”
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“You know how bad my memory is.”
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“I remember the theme song to
‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the
vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned, but I
forgot your birthday.”
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“I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses.”
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“The
girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.”
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“Oh, don’t fuss, i just cut myself, it’s no big deaL.”
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“I have
actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I
am hurt.”
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“Hey, i’ve got my reasons for what i’m doing.”
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“And I sure hope
I think of some pretty good reasons soon.”
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“I can’t find it.”
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“It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands,
so I’m completely clueless.”
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“What did i do this time?”
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“What did you catch me at?”
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“I heard you.”
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“I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said,
and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you
don’t spend the next 3 days yelling at me.”
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“You know i could never love anyone else”
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“I am used to the way
you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.”
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“You look terrific.”
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“Please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m
starving.”
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“I’m not lost. i know exactly where we are.”
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“No one will ever
see us alive again.”
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