Classic Quotes From Feisty Ladies

“I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde.”
– Dolly Parton

“You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.”
– Erica Jong

“I think, therefore I’m single.”
– Lizz Winstead

“In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.”
– Margaret Thatcher

“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”
– Erma Bombeck

“When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.”
– Elayne Boosler

“I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn’t itch.”
– Gilda Radner

“Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.”
– Maryon Pearson

“If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them.’
– Sue Grafton

“Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.”
– Gloria Steinem

“Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.”
– Katharine Hepburn

“I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.”
– Roseanne

“I look just like the girls next door… if you happen to live next door to an amusement park.”
– Dolly Parton

“I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it’s because it’s cold in there. And I’m like: How did my mother know THAT?”
– Wendy Liebman

“Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel.”
– Bella Abzug

“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.”
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths.”
– Baroness Edith Summerskill

“If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?”
– Linda Ellerbee

“I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.”
– Wendy Liebman

“I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don’t even want to do anything that feels GOOD for 36 hours.”
– Rita Rudner

“I figure if the children are alive when he gets home, I’ve done my job.”
– Roseanne

“He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant.”
– Carol Leifer