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We live in an ecumenical world. Religions that once were
isolated and distinct have cross-fertilized. Some of the
results can be, ah, eclectic. Here are some “koans” of
- If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
- Be here now. Be someplace else later. Is that so complicated?
- Drink tea and nourish life. With the first sip…joy. With the
second…satisfaction. With the third…peace. With the fourth, a
- Wherever you go, there you are. Your luggage is another story.
- Accept misfortune as a blessing. Do not wish for perfect health or a life without problems.
What would you talk about?
- The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single “oy.”
- There is no escaping karma. In a previous life, you never called,
you never wrote, you never visited. And whose fault was that?
- Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then
what do you have? Bupkes.
- Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Forget this and
attaining Enlightenment will be the least of your problems.
- Let your mind be as a floating cloud. Let your stillness be as the
wooded glen. And sit up straight. You’ll never meet the Buddha with
such rounded shoulders.
- Be patient and achieve all things. Be impatient and achieve all
- To Find the Buddha, look within. Deep inside you are ten thousand
flowers. Each flower blossoms ten thousand times. Each blossom has ten
thousand petals. You might want to see a specialist.
- To practice Zen and the art of Jewish motorcycle maintenance, do the
following: get rid of the motorcycle. What were you thinking?
- Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions. Keep in mind
that not every physical sensation is a symptom of a terminal illness.
- The Torah says, “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” The Buddha says
there is no “self.” So, maybe you are off the hook.
- The Buddha taught that one should practice loving kindness to all
sentient beings. Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient
being who happens to be Jewish?
- ! Though only your skin, sinews, and bones remain, though your blood
and flesh dry up and wither away, yet shall you meditate and not stir
until you have attained full Enlightenment. But, first, a little nosh.
This page was last updated October 1, 2005.