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Strange Places On The Web

The Web is a marvelous place to seek out new information, to boldly go where everyone else has gone before. From Kansas real estate listings to the latest white house equivocations, it’s all there. But the web is not just about dry drabs of information, it is about egomania. Everybody has their say and some of those says are pretty weird.

While surfing the web I have collected a potpourri of offbeat (but aren’t they all?) sites. Descriptions and links to some of them are given below. This is not a “worst of the web” list — that’s Mirsky’s shtick. It’s not a “weirdest of the web” list — you’d need an Artificial Stupidity based web search engine for that. It’s, uh, er, uh, my list. The descriptions will give you a clue. Enjoy. You can find a list of these sites and more, sans descriptions, in the well off the beaten track section in my big box of bookmarks.

The premier place to get your introduction to the world weird web used to be Mirsky’s Worst of the Web. Mirsky maintained a listing of web page atrocities; every other day or so he added a few more. They might be dumb, they might have amusing errors, or they might just be weird beyond belief. November 1, 1996, Mirsky has packed it in.

Buz etc have nominated themselves as the worthy successors of Mirsky. Check them out at worstoftheweb.com. They don’t quite have Mirsky’s cynical jaundice but they do have his eye for the worst.

Weirdness pervades the world. To get your weekly dose of weirdness you want to read the popular newspaper column, News of Weird, which contains snippets of weirdness gathered from news around the world. Your newspaper should have this column. If it doesn’t all is not lost. The column is archived on the web and you can subscribe to it electronically.

The Onion is an on-line newspaper devoted to stories that nobody in their right mind would take seriously but somebody probably does. It features such news stories as “CIA unveils new Ghetto Drugs” and “Alzheimer’s Sufferers Demand Cure For Pancakes”.

The Annals of Improbable Research at www.improbable.com has research results that are, well, improbable. Being a bearded man I was naturally interested in the research on the of felines to bearded men. Apaprently the original paper is no longer on line. However you can read about Canine Reactions to the Mona Lisa, either in pdf or in html.

Ooze is another webzine devoted to strange stuff. Issue # 10 has the Ooze Strikes Back page which claims that the Force is a tool of Satan. Issue #8, the Super Teen Issue was banned in Norway, or so the webzine claims. I’d be skeptical about anything they say if I were you.

I discovered In Search of the Perfect Pork Martini page while perusing The Worst of the Web. For the most part their selections are simply dorky, stupid pages. Every once in a while they come up with some truly strange stuff.

Maybe I’m just differently humored or sensitivity challenged but I got a kick out of going to the zoo with Heather. You see, Heather has two mommies and they took her to the Rainforest Education Center — in a reality challenged web page. You too can share their trip. Look at all the nifty pictures. Follow the links to see strange antics by Homo Sapiens. Warning: you may be offended if you take your political correctness too seriously.

This is a public service for my paranoid readers. Somebody may be out to get you; somebody may want to murder you. To understand why you should worry about being murdered visit the digital home of the mass murdering serial killer.

Are you worried about entropy? You ought to be. It’s coming and there’s nothing you can do about. Nothing, that is, unless you call upon Lord Kelvin. Lord Kelvin Loves you and wishes to Conserve you from Entropy. Learn the laws that he has given us. Learn about Kelvinian Meditation, a scientifically validated technique to cause a local decrease in your personal Entropy.

Are you tired of those junk mail “checks” that aren’t checks at all? Read about what happened when Patrick Combs cashed one for $95,095.93. Confirm what you’ve always suspected about banks.

Tired of Zork and other graphics rich interactive games? Try Save Billy, the internet site devoted to providing Billy with a happy and rewarding life. Make the wrong choice and Billy croaks. Warning: This page is offensive to people who are offended by my sense of humor.

NEWS FLASH!! Billy is missing. Yes, that’s right, my favorite web site has disappeared. Fear not. I’m going to launch a mission impossible — the search for Billy! Do your part and find Billy.

Evil Overlords and Vile Villains have a hard time of it what with heroes messing up the works, fateful prophecies, and treachery among the troops. If you plan to be an Evil Overlord you need Peter’s Evil Overlord List, a practical compendium of advice for the would-be Evil Overlord.

Ted Holden is a usenet weirdo. He isn’t the flakiest — that title may belong to Archimedes Plutonium (currently a resident of Meckling, South Dakota) — but Ted is right up there. Ted hangs out on alt.catastrophism and alt.fan.splifford. Your internet connection probably doesn’t carry them, although some do. Ted sort of collects crackpot theories which he patches together with his own brand of crazy glue. You should also check out the University of Ediacara page devoted to Ted and his interesting theories. Back when Gene Spafford was a lord of usenet he collected some of Ted’s riper bits of usenet posting in his yucks newsletter.

This is for lovers of fine horseflesh — and guts and anything else equine that’s remotely edible. Nifty recipes if you live in a yurt in Kazakhstan. The graphics are worth a visit.

If exotic gourmet dining is your bag, this is the place to go for the recipe for those yummie Chocolate Chirpie Chip Cookies. In case you don’t want to chase the link take a look at what it points to.

How can I explain this one? Kibo is the home page for the youngest domain owner on the web. He’s one cute baby and his parents are nifty people. Kibo (a different Kibo) is a usenet legend; there is a newsgroup, alt.religion.kibology, dedicated to Kibo. Well worth a visit if you’re a news junky.

W.C. Fields said some nasty things about Philadelphia. He obviously never visited the Mutter museum. If you can’t make it in person, visit this page.

It has been said that no one can win the war of the sexes because there is too much fraternizing with the enemy. Cinderella and Love story gives us one side of the eternal struggle. For a different slant visit the Heartless Bitches International – “Deal With It!” page. Kashka’s All men must die page has been taken down. Pity. I particularly liked the line “All men must die. Some more than others, one more than some.” However you might try a different All men must die page.

The Earth might not be flat but it’s not going anywhere and it certainly isn’t spinning like a top. At least that’s what the people at the http://www.fixedearth.com/ would have you believe. I guess that Galileo chap had it all wrong. I’m not exactly sure what Kabbala-based Big Bangism is, but it sounds like occult internet porn. Maybe you shouldn’t let little children near this site.

Are you an inventor? Do you know someone who is an inventor? Is your invention really whacky? Did you patent it? If you did, you might find it at the Wacky Invention of the Month page.

It seems like I come across links to the froggy page in the oddest places and it’s not hard to see why. It’s definitely a fun place to visit.

If you’re tired of weird stuff on the web here is the place to go.

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This page was last updated February 20, 2007.