Questions and Answers

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mother.

Q: How do you know when you’re REALLY ugly?
A: Dogs hump your leg with their eyes closed.

Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men’s restroom?
A: Say, “Nice dick.”

Q: How do you know you’re leading a sad life?
A: When a nymphomaniac tells you, “Let’s just be friends.”

Q: Why don’t bunnies make noise when they make love?
A: Because they have cotton balls

Q: Mom’s have Mother’s Day, Father’s have Father’s Day. What do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday

Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip

Q: What does a 75 year old woman have between her breasts?
A: Her navel.

Q: What’s the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?”
A: Are you sure it’s mine?”

Q: What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts are $1.25 but deer nuts are always under a buck.

Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
A: Mace will do that to you.

Q: Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
A: Everyone has the same DNA.

Q: Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A: A different bar.

Q: What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at halfmast?
A: They’re hiring

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don’t have eyes.

Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A: A pimp

Q: Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A: Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q: What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A: A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe

Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say f*ck?
A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

Q: What’s the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairytale?
A: A northern fairy tale begins, “Once upon a time …”while a southern fairy tale begins, “Y’all ain’t gonna believe this shit