One need not be Jewish to be a Jewish Mother
The phone rings; mother picks up the phone and answers: Hello?
Daughter: Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?
Mother: You’re going out?
Mother: With whom?
Daughter: With a friend.
Mother: I don’t know why you left your husband. He’s a good man.
Daughter: I didn’t leave him. He left me.
Mother: You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.
Daughter: I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?
Mother: I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.
Daughter: There are lots of things that you did and I don’t.
Mother: What are you hinting at?
Daughter: Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.
Mother : You’re going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?
Daughter: My ex-husband. I don’t think he would be bothered.
Mother: So you’re ing to sleep over at this loser’s place?
Daughter: He’s not a loser.
Mother: A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.
Daughter: I don’t want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not?
Mother: Poor children with such a mother.
Daughter: Such a what?
Mother:With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.
Mother: Don’t scream at me. You probably screamed at your husband and will scream at this loser too.
Daughter: Now you’re worried about the loser?
Mother: Ah, so he is a loser. I spotted him immediately.
Daughter: Goodbye, Mother.
Mother: Wait! When are you bringing the children over?
Daughter: I’m not bringing them over. I’m not going out!
Mother: If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?
This page was last updated November 1, 2007.