Signs you might be experiencing menopause
1. Hot Flashes:
You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. Night Sweats:
The person you sleep with complains about snow piling up on the bed.
3. Mood Swings:
Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to
heat the family room this winter. Rather than just saying you are not amused,
you shoot him.
4. Memory Loss:
You write post-it notes with your kid’s names on them.
Your husband chirps, “Hi honey, I’m home,” and your reply is, “Well, if it
isn’t Ozzie Nelson.”
The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the Heaven’s Gate Cult gives you four
hours of decent rest.
You find Guacamole in your hair after a Mexican dinner.
8. Mild Incontinence:
You change your underwear after every sneeze.
9. Sudden Weight Gain:
You need the ‘Jaws Of Life’ to help you out of your car after returning
home from an Italian restaurant.
You ask Jiffy Lube to put you up on a hoist.
11. Female Hormone Deficiency:
You take a sudden interest in “Wrestlemania”.
12. Hormone Therapy:
You’re on so much estrogen that you take your Brownie troop on a field trip
This page was last updated March 3, 2002.