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March 1999

Live Radio

This little gem is courtesy of Bob Becker. Thanks, Bob.

On the morning show at WBAM FM in Chicago, IL they play a game for prizes, usually vacations and such, called “Mate Match.” The DJs ring someone at work and ask if they are married or in a serious relationship. If yes, then this person is asked 3 very personal questions that vary from couple to couple and is asked for their significant other’s name and work phone number. If the significant other answers correctly, then they are winners. This particular day, Dec. 9, 1998, it got very interesting. Enjoy!

DJ: HEY! This is Edgar on WBAM. Do you know “Mate Match”?

Contestant: (laughing) Yes I do.

DJ: What is your name? First only please.

Contestant: Brian

DJ: Are you married or what Brian?

Brian: Yes.

DJ: Yes? Does this mean your are married or what? Brian?

Brian: (laughing nervously) Yes, I am married.

DJ: Thank you Brian. OK, now, what is your wife’s name? First only please Brian.

Brian: Sara.

DJ: Is Sara at work Brian?

Brian: She is gonna kill me.

DJ: Stay with me here Brian! Is she at work?

Brian: (laughing) Yes she is.

DJ: All right then, first question: When was the last time you had sex?

Brian: She is gonna kill me.

DJ: BRIAN! Stay with me here, man.

Brian: About 8 o’clock this morning.

DJ: Atta boy.

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) Well.

DJ: Number 2: How long did it last?

Brian: About 10 minutes.

DJ: Wow! You really want that trip huh? No one would ever have said that

if it there wasn’t a trip at stake.

Brian: Yeah, it would be really nice.

DJ: OK. Final question: Where was it that you had sex at 8 this morning?

Brian: (laughing hard) I ummmmm…

DJ: This sounds good. Brian where was it?

Brian: Not that it was all that great…just that her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks and she was taking a shower at the time.

DJ: Ooooooh, sneaky boy!

Brian: On the kitchen table.

DJ: Not that great? That is more adventurous than the last hundred times

I have done it. Anyway, (to audience) I will put Brian on hold, get his wife’s work number and call her up. You listen to this.


DJ: (to audience) Let’s call Sara shall we? (touch tones…ringing)

Clerk: Kinko’s.

DJ: Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?

Clerk: This is she.

DJ: Sara, this is Edgar with WBAM. I have been speaking with Brian for a couple of hours now.

Sara: (laughing) A couple of hours?

DJ: Well, a while anyway. He is also on the line with us. Brian knows not to give away any answers or you lose. Soooooooo! do you know the rules of “Mate Match”?

Sara: No.

DJ: Good.

Brian: (laughing)

Sara: (laughing) Brian, what the hell are you up to?

Brian: (laughing) Just answer his questions honestly, OK?

Sara: Oh, Brian.

DJ: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sara I will now ask you 3 questions and if you can answer the same way Brian has, then the 2 of you are off to Orlando, Florida at our expense. This does include tickets to Disney World, Sea World and tickets to see the Orlando Magic play. Get it Sara?

SARA! GET IT Orlando Magic, they are on strike. Sara, helloooooo, anyone home?!?!

Sara: (laughing hard) YES, yes.

Brian: (laughing)

DJ: All right, when did you have sex last Sara?

Sara: Oh God, Brian. This morning before Brian went to work.

DJ: What time?

Sara: About 8 I think. (sound effect – DING DING DING)

DJ: Very good. Next question: How long did it last?

Sara: 12,15 minutes maybe.

DJ: hmmmmm…

Background voice in studio: That’s close enough. I am sure she is trying not to harm his manhood.

DJ: Well, we will give you that one. Last question: Where did you do it?

Sara: OH MY GOD, BRIAN! You did not tell them did you?!?!

Brian: Just tell him honey.

DJ: What is bothering you so much Sara?

Sara: Well, It’s just that my mom is vacationing with us and…


Sara: BRIAN?!?!

Brian: NO, no I didn’t…

DJ: Ease up there sister. Just messin’ with your head. Your answer?

Sara: Dear Lord,..I cannot believe you told them this.

Brian: Come on honey it’s for a trip to Florida.

DJ: Let’s go Sara we ain’t got all day. Where did you do it?

Sara: In the ass. (long pause)

DJ: We will be right back.


DJ: I am sorry for that ladies and gentlemen. This is live radio and these things do happen. Anyway, Brian and Sara are off to lovely Orlando, Florida.

This page was last updated March 2, 1999.

table of contents
March 1999