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Engineers make good husbands

Attention Women! Here are some reasons why you should choose an engineer for a husband over other professions.

Supposedly, all women are after a Doctor, so don’t expect your relationship to last more than 5 years. Eventually, he’ll run off with some nurse from his office, or one of his young women patients that is pretending to be sick. He’ll wait until you are stuck with a few kids to do this. This is not a problem with your Engineer. He had a hard enough time meeting you. It is unlikely, he’ll ever meet another woman in his profession.

(a) You seriously expect an honest, trusting relationship with someone who gets paid for lying? Once again, this is not a problem with your Engineer. He doesn’t have enough social skills to lie convincingly. (b) An additional drawback is that when the divorce happens you will get nothing.

See honesty (a), under Lawyer. Plus, he will be travelling to trade shows, etc. where he will be in the company of other equally untrustworthy individuals. Don’t be surprised when you get the invitation to show up on the Ricki Lake show. The company that your engineer works at will keep him in a cage, often called a cubicle, until he is ready to go home to you.

High Risk
These are hazardous professions such as Police Officers, Firefighters, Construction Workers, etc. Your husband, if he is not dead by some accident, will like be crippled with a back injury, etc just about the time you are at your sexual peak. The only hazards that your engineer will face is losing his eyesight by staring at the terminal for too long. This hazard actually has some benefits. For one, he will not notice that you are getting older, since he will be a blur. He will remember you as when he first met you, because the memory will be the only way he can see you. Also, when some beautiful girl walks by, and you ask “Honey, were you looking at her?”, he’ll honestly be able to say that he didn’t even see her.

The only reason he entered this profession is so that he could be surrounded by newly post-pubescent girls who idolise him. He’ll be in jail soon, and then you’ll have to look for another man.

This page was last updated February 27, 1998.