The gender of household items
Many languages are gendered; that is, every noun is either masculine or
feminine. English is not formally gendered; however one can determine the gender
of common household items with just a bit of thought. For example:
- Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see
right through them.
- Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm
them up again. It’s an effective reproductive device if the right buttons
are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
- A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it’s often over-inflated.
- A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to
light a fire under it, and of course, there’s the hot air part.
- Sponges are Female, because they’re soft, squeezable and retain water.
- A Web Page is Female because it’s always getting hit on.
- A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
- An Hour glass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to
- A Hammer is Male, because it hasn’t changed much over the last 5,000
years, but it’s handy to have around.
- A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it’d be male, didn’t you?
But consider this,-it gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and
while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!
This page was last updated July 1, 2006.