Good News and Bad News

Lewis went out one night and got pretty wasted at a local bar. He awoke with a terrible hangover and went to take some Alka-Seltzer and relieve himself. When he looked down he saw he had a red and brown crusty substance around his dick. He scraped off a little of each into a container and sent it to a lab for identification.

When he went to see the lab technician, the tech said he had some good news and some bad. The good is that the red substance was ordinary lipstick, the bad is that the brown substance was chewing tobacco.