Jeff Foxworthy on South Dakota

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in South Dakota.

If you’re proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because it’s the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in South Dakota.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in South Dakota.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in South Dakota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there, you might live in South Dakota.

If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in South Dakota.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in South Dakota.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in South Dakota.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in South Dakota.