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Everything is a nail to a hammerhead shark

How should I know what it means?

What does the title mean? How in the hell should I know? I just make these things up. It is outside of too much to ask me to explain them also. Still it’s a neat question. Hammerhead sharks are weird looking animals, no way around it. But the old saying says that if all you have is a hammer then every problem looks like a nail. So it follows that every problem looks like a nail to a hammerhead shark. Maybe one of my readers can explain to me what a hammerhead shark thinks a nail is.

What now, fat boy?

The diet continues and the weight comes off, albeit not quite as fast as I would like it to. Twenty one pounds that used to be Richard have made their way back into the biosphere. I hope that the bacteria or the nematodes or whatever it is that recycles lost poundage are duly grateful. I’m not about to ask, though.

This does raise the question as to what is done with all the surplus weight that people discard. For example, what do people who undergo liposuction do the with the fat that is vacuumed out? It wouldn’t do to just throw it out; they’ve paid a high price for that fat, both to put it on, and to get it removed. I suppose one could seal it into little jars and put it on the mantle. I picture little sterile sealed jars with floral labels reading “Pounds 1-10 of Joe Blow, 2001” and so on. On the other hand it seems a shame to waste perfectly good animal fat. The newly thin chefs could use it in cooking, thereby literally putting something of themselves into the dishes they prepare. Waste not, want not, I always say.

One of the things that I have recently been doing to encourage the weight to disappear is walking to town to get the mail. This involves a one mile walk to the edge of town and half a mile within town to the post office. The return trip is another 1.5 miles for a total of three miles, a respectable but not overly demanding distance. Or so you would think. Two miles of that jaunt are in the country, said country being open prairie in every direction. When the weather is 40/40 (Temperature 40 degrees F, wind speed 40 mph) that respectable little walk becomes very respectable indeed.

Christmas Tree Lights

Putting up outdoor xmas lights is a big thing in these parts. The first year I was back here I didn’t do the outdoor lights thingie. The second year one of my visiting sisters insisted on putting up some lights. I did the lights thing and took them down. This year I decided to put more lights and put them on a timer. After some thought I decided to leave them up. Every evening they come on; every morning they shut down. I adjust the timer to keep up with the season. People tell me that they like them; it’s a friendly bit of color light in the middle of the prairie darkness. It is gratifying that people like the lights; it’s an odd thing to do and I would hate to have people thinking I am peculiar.

Animals not knowing their place

Living in the country has its down side. The local animals don’t seem to understand that this is your place. They seem to think that it is their place. Deer are supposed to be shy; I guess these are – they don’t spend all that much time in the back yard and they will leave when you shoo them away from the munchy plants.

Pheasants are another matter. Every so often a pheasant shows up at the front door and pecks at the glass side panel, demanding to come in. I fear that if I left the door open they would wander into the house. This would not be a good thing. It is all too likely that they would get spooked and try to fly out the picture window. The besides of which they would likely leave their calling cards on the floor.

We won’t mention rabbits and squirrels. It is very good of them to put all those delicious plants around for them to dine upon but the least they could do is say, thank you. I will admit that they are very cute as they scamper about.

This page was last updated May 1, 2002.
It was reformatted and moved May 15, 2006.

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