Do you trust your doctor? Do you trust doctors? Maybe you should think about that. The following quotes were taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians:
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
year.
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had
completely disappeared.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
was very hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in
1983.
Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and
then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to
floor.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
be depressed.
Discharge status: Alive but without permission
The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr.
Blank to dispose of him.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
The patient refused an autopsy.
The patient has no past history of suicides.
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably
insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three
years.
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate
directions in early December.
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath
with a picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex
which
gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his
airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
Since she can’t get pregnant with her husband, I thought you would
like to work her up.
She is numb from her toes down.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
The skin was moist and dry.
Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the
pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran
out of gas and crashed.
I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who
is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los
Angeles.
Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a
stockbroker instead.
Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family
in no distress.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
This page was last updated February 28, 1998.