Definitely dead

An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night’s sleep. He takes her hand & she responds, “Don’t touch me.”

“Why not,” he asks.

“Because I’m dead.”

“What are you talking about? We’re both lying here in bed together & talking to one another.”

“No, I’m definitely dead.”

Her husband insists, “You’re not dead. What in the world makes you think you’re dead?”

“I know I’m dead because I woke up this morning & nothing hurts!”