Letters to the editor, May 2011

This a traditional letter column. You are encouraged to write a letter of comment on anything that you find worthy of comment. It will (may) be published in this column along with my reply. As editor I reserve the right to delete material; however I will not alter the undeleted material. E-mail to me that solely references the contents of this site will be assumed to be publishable mail. All other e-mail is assumed to be private. And, of course, anything marked not for publication is not for publication. Oh yes, letters of appreciation for the scholarly resources provided by this site will be handled very discreetly. This page contains the correspondence for May 2011.

Index of contributors

• Anthony R. Lewis, FN, PhD
• Chip Hitchcock
• Alesia Ortiz

Other Correspondence Pages

• Master page for correspondence
  
• February 2011 correspondence
  
• March 2011 correspondence
  
• April 2011 correspondence
  

From: Anthony R. Lewis, FN, PhD
Date: 2 May 2011
Subj: Bin Laden’s Afterlife Surprise

After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he is greeted by George Washington.

“How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!” yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry comes up from behind: “You wanted to end the Americans’ liberty, so they gave you death!” Henry punches Osama on the nose. James Madison comes up next, and says, “This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!” He drops a large weight on Osama’s knee.

Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe and 65 other 18th-century American revolutionaries. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged.

As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams, “This is not what I was promised!”

An angel replies: “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?”

That’s a terrible joke, in the worst of bad taste. Well done!

From: Chip Hitechcock
Date: 14 April 2011
Subj: April editorial

Sometimes internetworking is stupidity and sometimes it looks more like gall. Police around here recently arrested someone who they suspect had stolen ~20 bikes and sold most of them via Craigslist; someone missing a bike thought he saw it on the list and notified the police, who arranged a meeting. (It turns out the advertised bike wasn’t that/ missing one — it must have been a popular model.) For lagniappe, the “seller” showed up with a set of bolt cutters in his messenger bag; I guess he thought he thought he’d ride in on one bike, sell it, and ride out on another. Would anyone care to hold this up as an example of entrepreneurialism?

Now that is quite charming. One of the basic laws of life is that it pays to assume that actions do not have consequences until you find out the hard way that they do. Of course, when there are consequences they can be very bad, indeed even fatal. In the grand scheme of life that doesn’t matter – there is always the next generation that can profit by your example.

We humans believe ourselves to be exceptions to this grand law. We are in part – we do act on foresight from time to time – but we’re not very good at it. There isn’t that much difference between the enterprising bicycle salesman and a global economy that burns ever increasing amounts of fossil fuel. Scale, yes, and time frame, but the behaviour is much the same.

Who knows, maybe the horse will learn to sing.

From: Alesia Ortiz
Date: 29 April 2011
Subj: Ummm … i’m Alesia

Hello,
Me view your pic in friend’s account. Amazing, isn’t it?
I’am Lesia.
It’s hard to say … ummm, I badly like you, you look like a man you can trust.
I have no boyfriend, cuz last week break with my boyfriend.
He date me only because slim body. I just need a good guy
Hope get more information about you.

I have some bad news for you Alesia. I think I know which picture you are talking about. As it happens, it is from a wanted poster that the Croatian border patrol was circulating some time ago. The picture is quite flattering, albeit not particularly accurate. I would prefer that you do not inquire into the details as to why it was being circulated, but I assure you that they do not compromise my suitability as a boy friend for a lady with a slim body.

As it happens I am not available – I already have a girl friend with a slim body. None-the-less I wish you the best in your search for a boyfriend. Do write again when you have children so that I can give them my blessing.