From: Dr. Bakare Tunde
Date: 4/17/2004
Subj: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home

Subject: Nigerian Astronaut Wants To Come Home
Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA)
Plot 555
Misau Street
PMB 437
Garki, Abuja, FCT NIGERIA

Dear Mr. Sir,

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.

In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.

Yours Sincerely, Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
[email protected]

I regret to say that Abacha Tunde is destined to spend a few more years in space as I am quite unable to assist him in his efforts to get down to Earth.

PS: This bit of spam was sent to someone else and forwarded to me; I thought it too charming to pass up.

From: Alexey V. Melkikh
Date: 4/10/2004
Subj: new idea in evolution

Dear Dr. Richard Harter!

This paper presents new idea in evolution of life. I’ll be grateful if you will tell your opinion on this paper to me.

With the best wishes,

Alexey V. Melkikh

Molecular physics chair, Ural State
Technical University, Mira Str. 19, 620002,
Ekaterinburg, Russia.

You have an interesting idea here, but I’m afraid that your analysis is quite unsound. It is unfortunate that you did not present a derivation for your first equation, which you rely upon to refute the possibility of Darwinian evolution. If there were a derivation one could point with more certainty as to where you went wrong. Here, however, are some thoughts.

As a subsidiary matter, there are other modes of mutation than nucleotide substitution, e.g., transposons, and chromosomal alterations. It may well be that nucleotide substitution, although important for genetic drift, is relatively unimportant as a mechanism for macroevolution. However the restriction to nucleotide substitution is not a critical source of error.

There is no appeciation of population dynamics and a misunderstanding of the nature of niches and their role in evolution.

The notion of a potential well as the maximum number of nucleotides that change before a species (or members of a species) become another species is interesting and may even be of some statistical utility. However the simple fact is that there is no such single numbers. In some cases different species can be separated by a handful of genomic differences. Contrariwise the members of a single species can have substantial differences in their genomes. It all depends on which genes are affected and in what way.

The crucial error may be a probability theory fallacy, that of calculating an a priori probability of some particular result and than claiming that the resulting small number means that the possibility of any change is remote. I suspect that the route that you took to get there is a belief that speciation and niche change are equivalent. This is not at all true. The number of potential species that could evolve from a given species is immense, and is vastly larger than the number of niches those potential species could occupy. For that matter it can happen that a given species can change niches.

That the paper’s argument against the possibility of Darwinian evolution is fallacious is scarcely surprising. After all, Darwinian evolution has been exensively observed and studied both in the laboratory and in nature.

In the second part of your paper you introduce the idea of elementary particles having a complex inner structure. There is no particular experimental evidence for this notion, nor is there any place for such structures in current theory. Indeed, the experimental results that seem to rule out “no hidden variables” militate against the idea. Be that as it may, the idea is an interesting speculative possibility. More substance is required, however, for it to be more than handwaving. The notion of particle inner structure driving evolution is somewhat less plausible.

Sorry, nice try, but it doesn’t fly.

From: Marilyn Sprissler
Date: 4/10/2004
Subj: grackle wars

I loved your essay on “Grackle Wars” & laughed heartily!

I too am having similar problems with grackles & have closed my feeders numerous times because of the ##*&^%* Grackles.

I regret to say that the dreaded grackles have been holding their own and more than holding their own. It doesn’t seem to bother the goldfinches though. I keep wistifully thinking of building a grackle and squirrel proof cage. I may even do it some day.

From: Andrew D Coppock
Date: 4/5/2004
Subj: converting permutations to indices and vice versa

I was wondering where this algoritm came from. Your site says it was transcribed from a serious article, could you tell me where I could find that article and who wrote and whatnot. Im so curious because I developed this algorithm in highschool and I wanted to find out who was the first person to develop it

It was transcribed from a usenet article I wrote in reply to someone asking “how to”. I invented the algorithm on the spot, but I’m quite sure that it has been frequently reinvented. It is, after all, the sort of thing that can be worked out by a bright high school student.

Incidentally, can you tell me where the page says that it was transcribed from a serious article? Offhand, I don’t see any such statement.

From: Henry Hanna
Date: 4/6/2004
Subj: fashionable nonsense, etc.

I liked your summary of the book fashionable nonsense.

Thank you.

Or, as I sometimes sarcastically refer to it, “The Closing of Allan Bloom’s Mind”. I am sure that there are many essays written about his book. It is that sort of book. Still, it would be an interesting project.

Maybe we can try to do a summary of George Steiner’s “No Passion Spent”, a collection of essays.

I haven’t read it. I would, save that my backlog of books to read has grown alarmingly.

Hi. Is there a page that describes what you do (did) in your life? Are you retiried? Were you an engineer?

I’m not sure I like the implications of that “what you did in your life.” The question is whether to read it as “What did you do when you had a life?” or as “What did you do when were alive?”

Am I suspected of being one of the undead? I suppose it isn’t the worst of fates – after all, being undead does give one a thirst for life. It occurs to me that the internet is a boon to vampires. Until now their prospects for a social life were limited by the peculiarities of their circumstances. These days, though, anybody can take part in a chat room.

Be that as it may, I am retired. My occupations have mostly been computer software related. At various times I have been a programmer, a senior numerical analyst, a lead investigator, and CEO of a small software company. When I was much younger I shoveled shit for a living, a vocation that gave me skills that have stood me in good stead ever since.

The master page for autobiographical trivia is at http://richardhartersworld.com/cri/personal.html . I doubt that any of it will be terribly meaningful, but you never know. You might consider reading “My Dinner At Andre’s” at http://richardhartersworld.com/cri_b/fiction/andre.html, which is either a dreadful bit of autobiographical puffery, or an inovative and fascinating bit of fiction.

Having indulged myself I will now pose a question: Why an engineer. Why not, say, an accountant? I always fancied being a paleontologist. If I must have a career imputed to me, why couldn’t it be that?

I dunno. I opine that most people who haven’t read it don’t say anything about it and don’t give a damn about it. I suspect that when we restrict ourselves to those people who comment vigorously on books they haven’t read we will find that most of the commentary is negative. It is much easier to condemn something you don’t understand than to praise it.

Let your ears hear the wisdom of your mouth.

Interesting. It is your favorite book and yet you ask for a critical analysis. Are you sure about this?

hi. thanks. somehow i thought you were some kind of an engineer — i think you have a scientist/engineer’s mind, like Sokal’s. (“no BS wanted”)

Chortle. Deal in stereotypes, do we?