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More intelligence-challenged people


Times of London – A thief who sneaked into a hospital was scarred for life when he tried to get a suntan. After evading security staff at Odstock Hospital in Salisbury, Wiltshire, and helping himself to doctor’s paging devices, the thief spotted a vertical sunbed. He walked into the unit and removed his clothes for a 45-minute tan. However, the high-voltage UV machine at the hospital, which is renowned for its treatment of burns victims, has a maximum dosage of 10 seconds. After lying on the bed for almost 300 times the recommended maximum time, the man was covered in blisters. Hours later, when the pain of the burns became unbearable, he went to Southampton General Hospital, 20 miles away, in Hampshire. Staff became suspicious because he was wearing a doctor’s coat. After tending his wounds they called the police. Southampton police said: This man broke into Odstock and decided he fancied a quick suntan. Doctors say he is going to be scarred for life.


45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn’t realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil.


Portsmouth, R.I.Police charged Gregory Rosa, 25, with a string of vending machine robberies in January when he: 1) fled from police inexplicably when they spotted him loitering around a vending machine and 2) later tried to post his 24400 bail in coins.


Karen Lee Joachimi, 20, was arrested in Lake City, Florida, for robbery of a Howard Johnson’s motel. She was armed with only an electric chainsaw, which was not plugged in.


The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 7:50 am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.



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This page was last updated June 1, 1998.