Atheistic Blindtimekeepingism
by “snex” IntroductionAs the esteemed Dr. Jason Gastrich as often reminded us, atheism is in serious decline these days. Yet this dwindling minority continues to have a stranglehold on the beliefs of society at large. Atheist doctrines have led to things like the Holocaust and school shootings that are so common in America today. Atheism has led to pseudoscientific nonsense like Copernicanism, Darwinism, Einsteinism, Marxism, and a virtual infinitude of similar views. While many of these views are areas under hot debate, and some — like Darwinism — are quickly falling to more logical approaches such as Intelligent Design, one view that the atheists have managed to sneak by us is Marrison-Hortonism. Many people have never even heard these names before, yet their atheistic worldviews pervade our lives every day.Marrison and Horton are credited with the invention of the first so-called “quartz clock.” This clock allegedly keeps accurate time all by itself. In reality, Marrison and Horton were publically avowed Atheist-Satanists who found themselves unable to accept the reality of a Divine Timekeeper. Rather than keep time on its own, their device actually derives its power from Satanic Demons, who use the quartz inside as a channeling crystal. Most people are not even aware of this fact, and are probably carrying demons with them wherever they go! Despite all this, the reality is hard to deny. Look at any clock. Note the position of the hands. Go do something for a while, and then come back and note the position of the hands. They are completely different! The atheists would have us believe that the hands were moving along all that time all by themselves, from one to ten and back again. Yet not a single atheist has *ever* demonstrated evidence that the clock hands move. Microtimekeeping vs macrotimekeepingAtheists often level a strawman at Intelligent Timekeepingist (hereafter referred to as IT) views. They force you to stare at a clock for 5 minutes or so and claim vindication when the big hand of the clock moves. But DTists all agree that the big hand moves! This is simply microtimekeeping, and it does not go against ITist views. The problem is that these movements of the big hand are just as likely to give an incorrect movement as they are to give a correct movement. There is no new information about the current time added by these microticks! *Nobody* has ever seen the little hand of a clock move. This is what we refer to when we say macrotimekeeping. It does not really matter if the current minute is 13, 14, or 15, but it *does* matter what the current hour is. Are we to believe that billions of people show up to work on time every day due to chance?TransitionsAfter pointing out that the atheist has not demonstrated that the little hand of any clock moves on its own, they will often make the futile attempt to point to so-called “transitional states” of the clock, and assume that this proves it moved. For example, let’s say that it is currently 2PM. The last time I checked the clock it was 12PM. The atheist will then show you a picture with the little hand pointing to 1PM, as if this somehow supported his position. However, he now has *two* gaps to fill, 12:30PM and 1:30PM. He has only made the problem worse for himself! These so-called “transitional states” are perfectly concordant with Intelligent Timekeepingism, because the Timekeeper sets the little hand to the proper position just before *any* observer looks at the clock. Take note atheists, this includes cameras!Irreducible clockfacityAt any given point in the day, the current time as a unique value. Clocks tell us this value accurately and reliably. Nobody disputes this fact. However, when attempting to read the time from a clock, one notices a strange quality of the clock. If any of its parts were missing, we would not be able to read the time! The clock face is “irreducible,” because the removal of any of its parts will cause the clock to cease telling time correctly. This is obvious with the hands, but a little less obvious with features such as the numbers. However, imagine a clock without numbers, and rotate it 90 degrees to the left. It is no longer telling the correct time! This poses a problem to Marrison-Hortonists. How can one tell the correct time if all the elements of the clock must be in place first? Only an Intelligent Timekeeper can solve this conundrum.Specified clockplexity“Just what is ‘clockplexity?'” the atheist often asks. They charge that there is no real definition of the term, despite the fact that it is obvious to a five year old child. Clockplexity is simply a measurement of probabilities. There are 60 positions on a clock face that may be occupied by either or both of the hands at any given time. So, for any given clock, the odds of the hands facing the correct time are 1 in 3,600. Quite improbable, but with so many clocks in the world, many are bound to tell the correct time purely by chance. However, *every* clock in the world tells the correct time *every* time we look at it! Assuming there are two clocks for every person alive, that leaves us with odds on the order of 1 in 10^6,000,000,000. This is equivalent to the odds of a hurricane, a tornado, an earthquake, and a blizzard all hitting a junkyard at the same time and creating a perfect relplica of Air Force One with perfect living replicas of the entire Executive Branch of the US Government inside discussing the War on Terrorism! But why are these great odds special? This is where specificity comes in. Even though every single poker hand has the same odds, a Royal Flush is a *specified* hand that we want in advance. Just the same, even though all clock configurations have the same odds, the ones representing the current time is *specified* in advance. When combined, Specified Clockplexity is only produced by Intelligent agents. The fact that *all* clocks display the correct time indicates that there is an Intelligent Timekeeper.Adherence to philosophical naturalismClearly an Intelligent Timekeeper exists and sets our clock hands. So why do the atheist Marrison-Hortonists continue to deny this? The problem is that they have a philosophical adherence to naturalism. Non-intelligent forces are not allowed to be discussed in timekeeping because it would “allow a Divine Foot in the door.” All the Intelligent Timekeeping movement asks is that all the evidence be examined objectively and that the presuppositions of the Marrison-Hortonist movement be examined and evaluated critically.
This page was last updated June 1, 2005. |