The Web is a marvelous place to seek out new information, to boldly go where everyone else has gone before. From Kansas real estate listings to the latest white house equivocations, it’s all there. But the web is not just about dry drabs of information, it is about egomania. Everybody has their say and some of those says are pretty weird.
While surfing the web I have collected a potpourri of offbeat (but aren’t they all?) sites. Descriptions and links to some of them are given below. This is not a “worst of the web” list — that’s Mirsky’s shtick. It’s not a “weirdest of the web” list — you’d need an Artificial Stupidity based web search engine for that. It’s, uh, er, uh, my list. The descriptions will give you a clue. Enjoy. You can find a list of these sites and more, sans descriptions, in the well off the beaten track section in my big box of bookmarks.
The premier place to get your introduction to the world weird web
used to be Mirsky’s Worst of the Web.
Mirsky maintained a listing of web page atrocities; every other day or
so he added a few more. They might be dumb, they might have amusing errors,
or they might just be weird beyond belief.
November 1, 1996, Mirsky has packed it in.
Buz etc have nominated themselves as the worthy successors of Mirsky. Check them out at worstoftheweb.com. They don’t quite have Mirsky’s cynical jaundice but they do have his eye for the worst.
Weirdness pervades the world. To get your weekly dose of weirdness you
want to read the popular newspaper column,
News of Weird, which contains
snippets of weirdness gathered from news around the world. Your newspaper
should have this column. If it doesn’t all is not lost. The column is
archived on the web and you can subscribe to it electronically.
The Onion is an on-line newspaper
devoted to stories that nobody in their right mind would take seriously but
somebody probably does. It features such news stories as “CIA unveils new Ghetto
Drugs” and “Alzheimer’s Sufferers Demand Cure For Pancakes”.
The Annals of Improbable Research
at www.improbable.com has research results that are, well, improbable. Being
a bearded man I was naturally interested in the research on the
of felines to bearded men. Apaprently the original paper is no longer on line.
However you can read about Canine Reactions to the Mona Lisa, either
in pdf or in
html.
Ooze is another webzine
devoted to strange stuff. Issue # 10 has the
Ooze
Strikes Back page which claims that the Force is a tool of Satan.
Issue #8, the Super
Teen Issue was banned in Norway, or so the webzine claims. I’d be
skeptical about anything they say if I were you.
I discovered
In Search of the Perfect Pork Martini
page while perusing
The Worst of the Web.
For the most part their selections
are simply dorky, stupid pages. Every once in a while they come up with
some truly strange stuff.
Maybe I’m just differently humored or sensitivity challenged but I got a kick out of
going to the zoo with Heather. You see,
Heather has two mommies and they
took her to the Rainforest Education Center — in a reality challenged web page. You
too can share their trip. Look at all the nifty pictures. Follow the links to see
strange antics by Homo Sapiens. Warning: you may be offended if you take your political
correctness too seriously.
This is a public service for my paranoid readers. Somebody may be out to
get you; somebody may want to
murder
you. To understand why you should worry about being murdered visit
the digital home of the mass murdering serial killer.
Are you worried about entropy? You ought to be. It’s coming and
there’s nothing you can do about. Nothing, that is, unless you call upon
Lord Kelvin.
Lord Kelvin Loves you and wishes to Conserve you from Entropy.
Learn the laws that he has given us. Learn about Kelvinian Meditation,
a scientifically validated technique to cause a local decrease in your
personal Entropy.
Are you tired of those junk mail “checks” that aren’t checks at all?
Read about what happened when
Patrick Combs
cashed one for $95,095.93. Confirm what you’ve always suspected about
banks.
Tired of Zork and other graphics rich interactive games? Try
Save Billy, the internet
site devoted to providing Billy with a happy and rewarding life.
Make the wrong choice and Billy croaks. Warning: This
page is offensive to people who are offended by my sense of
humor.
NEWS FLASH!! Billy is missing. Yes, that’s right, my favorite web site has disappeared. Fear not. I’m going to launch a mission impossible — the search for Billy! Do your part and find Billy.
Evil Overlords and Vile Villains have a hard time of it what with heroes messing
up the works, fateful prophecies, and treachery among the troops. If you plan
to be an Evil Overlord you need
Peter’s Evil Overlord List,
a practical compendium of advice for the would-be Evil Overlord.
Ted Holden
is a usenet weirdo. He isn’t the flakiest — that title may belong to
Archimedes Plutonium (currently a resident of
Meckling, South Dakota)
— but Ted is right up there. Ted hangs out on alt.catastrophism and
alt.fan.splifford. Your internet connection
probably doesn’t carry
them, although some do. Ted sort of collects crackpot theories which
he patches together with his own brand of crazy glue. You should also check
out the University of
Ediacara page devoted to Ted and his interesting theories.
Back when Gene Spafford was a lord of usenet he collected some of Ted’s
riper bits of usenet posting in his
yucks
newsletter.
This is for lovers of fine horseflesh — and guts and anything else equine that’s remotely
edible. Nifty recipes if you live in a yurt in Kazakhstan. The
graphics are worth a visit.
If exotic gourmet dining is your bag, this is the place to go for the
recipe for those yummie
Chocolate Chirpie Chip Cookies. In case you don’t want to
chase the link take a look at what it points to.
How can I explain this one?
Kibo
is the home page for the youngest domain
owner on the web. He’s one cute baby and his parents are nifty people.
Kibo (a different Kibo) is a usenet legend; there is a newsgroup,
alt.religion.kibology, dedicated
to Kibo. Well worth a visit if you’re a news junky.
W.C. Fields said some nasty things about Philadelphia. He obviously
never visited the Mutter museum. If you can’t make it in person,
visit this
page.
It has been said that no one can win the war of the sexes because there
is too much fraternizing with the enemy. Cinderella and Love story
gives us one side of the eternal struggle. For a different slant visit the
Heartless Bitches International – “Deal With It!”
page. Kashka’s All men must die page has been taken down. Pity. I
particularly liked the line “All men must die. Some more than others,
one more than some.” However you might try a different
All men must die page.
The Earth might not be flat but it’s not going anywhere and it certainly
isn’t spinning like a top. At least that’s what the people
at the http://www.fixedearth.com/
would have you believe. I guess that Galileo chap had it all wrong.
I’m not exactly sure what Kabbala-based Big Bangism is, but it sounds
like occult internet porn. Maybe you shouldn’t let little children near
this site.
Are you an inventor? Do you know someone who is an inventor?
Is your invention really whacky? Did you patent it? If you did,
you might find it at the
Wacky Invention of the
Month page.
It seems like I come across links to the
froggy page
in the oddest places and it’s not hard to see why.
It’s definitely a fun place to visit.
If you’re tired of weird stuff on the web here is the
place
to go.
This page was last updated February 20, 2007.