One need not be Jewish to be a Jewish Mother

The phone rings; mother picks up the phone and answers: Hello?

Daughter: Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?

Mother: You’re going out?

Daughter: Yes.

Mother: With whom?

Daughter: With a friend.

Mother: I don’t know why you left your husband. He’s a good man.

Daughter: I didn’t leave him. He left me.

Mother: You let him leave you, and now you go out with anybodies and nobodies.

Daughter: I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?

Mother: I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.

Daughter: There are lots of things that you did and I don’t.

Mother: What are you hinting at?

Daughter: Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over tonight.

Mother : You’re going to stay the night with him? What will your husband say if he finds out?

Daughter: My ex-husband. I don’t think he would be bothered.

Mother: So you’re ing to sleep over at this loser’s place?

Daughter: He’s not a loser.

Mother: A man who goes out with a divorced woman with children is a loser and a parasite.

Daughter: I don’t want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not?

Mother: Poor children with such a mother.

Daughter: Such a what?

Mother:With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.

Daughter: ENOUGH!!!

Mother: Don’t scream at me. You probably screamed at your husband and will scream at this loser too.

Daughter: Now you’re worried about the loser?

Mother: Ah, so he is a loser. I spotted him immediately.

Daughter: Goodbye, Mother.

Mother: Wait! When are you bringing the children over?

Daughter: I’m not bringing them over. I’m not going out!

Mother: If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?