Old Caesar

A tired traveller was walking down the road. This was in the days before cars, you know, and the man was poor and had no horse. All of a sudden he came upon a farmhouse, and in the front of the farmhouse there was a pig with one wooden leg laying in a hammock, sleeping.

The traveller had never seen such a sight, so he paused for a moment. Just then a farmer came strolling up to the front of the house and noticed the traveller. He strode up to the traveller and said: “Mighty fine, ain’t he”

The traveller looked puzzled, and asked: “Why is that pig asleepin’ in a hammock, and why does it have a wooden leg?”

The farmer beamed with pride and said: “Well sir, that thar pig is a might-a special. One night our house caught on fire, and that thar pig came up to the house an’ hollered and squealed and like to wake the dead! We all woked up and we wuz all a-saved.”

“Blazes!” said the traveller. But how about his wooden leg?

The old farmer seemed not to hear the traveller’s question, and continued with more tales of heroics the pig had performed… “Yup, Old Caesar’s his name…You see that barge down there on the river? That’s a mining dredge, taking out gold. Old Caesar sniffed out the vein and showed us how to set it up. Now that dredge brings me in about $120,000 every year.”

“Then there was the time I fell into the river and Old Casear jumped in and dragged me to the bank.”

“Mister”, said the traveller, bein’ a good Christian ‘n’ all, I ain’t accusin’ you o’ lyin, but I awonder how Old Caesar could have done all you say he has done, especially with only three legs. Tarnation, no pig is that smart and that brave, ‘specially a crippled-up one like that!”

The old farmer said: “O’course he had no impediments then…he had all four legs in those days…”

The traveller was still puzzled, and asked: “What happened to him, then? Was there some kind of accident? What happened to his leg?”

The old farmer just smiled, and said: “Well sir, when ya got a pig that special, you don’t eat him all at once…”