The religious supply store

Abie and Moishe had a religious goods store on Delancey Street on the Lower East Side of NYC.

The neighborhood was changing. The Jews were moving to Westchester or Long Island and the Puerto Ricans were moving in.

“Abie, ve haff to move to Westchester,” said Moishe.

“Ve can’t. Diss neighborhood iz our life. Ve’ve been here for toity-tree years. Maybe ve can start stockink Ketolic articles too.”

“Vat? Ketolic articles? Bistu in gantzen meshuggeh? Ve’re Jews. NO Ketolic articles!”

A month passed and they sold nothing but two talliseisim, three mezzuzahs and one set of tefillin. Now was the time to fish or cut bait.

Moishe agreed that they had to stock Catholic articles, so he said to Abie, “OK, call dat Ketolic supply house on Park Avenue.”

Abie: “Hello, Ketolic supply house on Park Avenue? Diss is Abie and Moishe’s on Delancey Street. I vant 200 daily missals, 100 autographed pictures of the Pope, 200 of dose beads, vat you call em, Rosaries? And a gross of crucifixes. And I need dos things here tommorow. ”

“OK, Sir. I got your order. Let me read it back. 200 daily missals, 100 autographed pictures of the Pope, 200 sets of Rosaries and 100 crucifixes. So, tell me, however, dese crucifixes. You vant dem mit or mitout de Jesuses? And tomorrow we don’t deliver…it’s Shabbos.”