School absence excuses

Actual school absence excuses from parents (supposedly)– including spelling.

• My son is under a doctor’s care today and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
  
• Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
  
• Dear School: Please ekscuse John for being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
  
• Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
  
• Please excuse Roland frrom P.E. for a few days. Yesterday, he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
  
• John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
  
• Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
  
• Megan could not come to school today because she has been botheres by very close veins.
  
• Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
  
• Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre, dyrea, direathe, the shits.
  
• Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
  
• Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
  
• Please excuse Jim for being. It was his father’s fault.
  
• I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wear.
  
• Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
  
• Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
  
• My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
  
• Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
  
• Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
  
• Please excuse brenda, she has been sick and under the doctor.