Talmud for Gentiles

The Priest met his friend, the Rabbi, and says to him, “You have taught me many things but there is one thing in particular I want to learn very much but you do not wish to teach it to me. I want you to teach me the Talmud.”

The Rabbi replied: “You are a Non-Jew and you have the brain of a Non-Jew.

There is no chance that you will succeed in understanding the Talmud.”

But the Priest continued in his attempt to persuade the Rabbi to teach him the Talmud.

Finally, the Rabbi agreed. The Rabbi then said to the Priest: “I agree to teach you the Talmud on condition that you answer one question.”

The Priest agreed and asked the Rabbi “What is the Question?”

The Rabbi then said to the Priest: “Two men fall down through the chimney. One comes out dirty and the other comes out clean.

Who of those two goes to wash up.”

“Very Simple,” replied the Priest. “The one who is dirty goes to wash up but the one who is clean does not go to wash up.”

The Rabbi then said to the Priest: “I told that you will not succeed in understanding the Talmud. The exact opposite happened. The clean one looks at the dirty one and thinks that he is also dirty goes to wash up. The dirty one, on the other hand, looks at the clean one and thinks that he is also clean and, therefore, does not go to wash up.”

The Priest then says to the Rabbi: “This I did not think of. Ask me, please another question.”

The Rabbi then says to the Priest: “Two men fall down through the chimney.

One comes out dirty and the other comes out clean. Who of these two goes to wash up?”

The Priest then says to the Rabbi: “Very simple. The clean one looks at the dirty one and thinks he is also dirty and goes to wash up. The dirty one, on the other hand, looks at the clean one and thinks that he is also clean and, therefore, does not go to wash up.”

The Rabbi then says to the Priest: “You are wrong again. I told you that you will not understand. The clean one looks into the mirror, sees that he is clean and, therefore, does not go to wash up. The dirty one looks into the mirror, sees that he is dirty and goes to wash up.”

The Priest complains to the Rabbi “But you did not tell me that there is a mirror there.”

The Rabbi then tells the Priest: “I told you. You are a Non-Jew, with your brain you will not succeed in understanding the Talmud. According to the Talmud, you have to think of all the possibilities.”

“All right,” groaning, said the Priest to the Rabbi. “Let us try once more. Ask me one more question.”

For the last time, said the Rabbi to the Priest. “Two men fall through the chimney. One came out dirty and the other came out clean. Who of these two went to wash up?”

“That is very simple!” replied the Priest. “If there is no mirror there the clean one will look at the dirty one and will! think that he is also dirty and will, therefore, go to wash up. The dirty one will look at the clean one and will think that he is also clean, and will, therefore, not go to wash up. If there is a mirror there, the clean one will look into the mirror and will, therefore, not go to wash up. The dirty one will look into the mirror and will see that he is dirty and will, therefore go to wash up.”

The Rabbi then says to the Priest: “I told that you will not succeed in understanding. You are a Non-Jew, you have a Non-Jewish Brain.

Tell me, how is it possible for two men to fall through a chimney and for one to come out dirty and for the other to come out clean?”