The Blue Cow Incident

Many years ago, when I was a small child and my father was still alive, there was an incident. I wasn’t there. My mother and my eldest sister were there, but I wasn’t there. The details I relate may not be entirely accurate. Few, however, are in a position to gainsay me.

The incident in question happened at a sale in southern Hyde county. In those days southern Hyde county was a land of magical mystery, and northern Hyde was simply beyond comprehension. As for the rest of South Dakota, it might as well have been in Asia for all I knew.

We had a cow (it may have been a steer) that we called the blue steer (it may have been a cow) that we meant to offer for sale. At this remove I do not understand this business about “blue”. I am not an authority on cattle, but I have observed them from time to time. Some are brown, some white, and some black. Most are some combination of brown, white, and black. As far as I know they are never purple, fuschia, or blue. That only shows what I know. Paul Bunyan had a big blue ox, so cattle must come in blue.

As it chanced there was a man named Art Cowan who claimed that the cow (or steer, which ever it was – I’m sure it mattered to him/her but it doesn’t to me) was his. My father and Art Cowan discussed the matter with great vigor, so great that it came to fisticuffs. Alas, my father was a slight man and Mr. Cowan was a large man, and my father got quite the worst of it.

Having lost the battle of fists my father got up, walked over to his pickup, pulled out his rifle, and shot the blue cowsteer dead in the head. He then walked over to Mr. Cowan and said, “There, now it’s yours.”