The accountant FAQ

Q: What is the definition of an accountant?
A: Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had, in a way you don’t understand.

Q: What does an accountant do for birth control?
A. He talks about his business.

Q: What is an extroverted accountant?
A: One who looks at your shoes while he’s talking to you instead of his own.

Q: What is an insolvency practitioner?
A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?
A: Because he looked in the file and that’s what they did last year.

Q: How do you drive an accountant completely insane?
A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him and fold up a road map the wrong way.

Q: What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don’t?
A: Depreciation.