The Virgin of Snath

Our grand, omnipotent, vigorous, dynamic leader (our last leader was, alas, a math-major and thus a mere figurehead) has been weeping and screaming for material. Taking pity on this snivelling wretch, I rushed to library of arcane tomes for material. Unfortunately, Arcane Tomes is the English fantasy writer of whom it is said, “His works are few, but those few volumes are poor.”

Despite the harshness of his critics there is one work that deserves mention. I refer to, of course, his immortal “The Virgin of Snath”. This short, semi-autobiographical story of innocent childhood vampirism being corrupted by bourgeois capitalism is a classic case history of the class war. (Note the significance of the silver bullet.) But this is not a mere ideological setpiece. His handling of the characterization of the immortal amoeba and its unresolved oedipal complex is achieved with a conciseness and precision seldom obtained in the English language.

The dramatic tenseness of the chase scene through the womb of the giant squid is achieved with an effortless economy of words. It is truly unfortunate that this brilliant masterpiece was lost forever with the burning of the Alexandria library. Writing of this kind is seldom seen anymore.