Cats eating mustard

This is supposedly a true story, but I would caution you to suspend disbelief:

In the midst of a heated debate in the League of Nations (oh, circa 1920-something), three delegates went to a bar. The participants are an Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian.

“You can no more establish peace between the Turks and the Bulgars,” declared the Frenchman, “than you can make a cat eat mustard!”

Later on, roundly soused, the trio settled on a bet: can you make a cat eat mustard?

The Englishman mixed some mustard with cream, and yet the cat refused it.

The Frenchman mixed the mustard with a complicated mixture of aromatic sauces, and yet…despite their enticing aroma, the cat once again refused the dish.

The Russian was next: “You gentlemen lack any common sense!” he roared. The Cossack proceeded to smear mustard on the cat’s bum. The offended feline immediately yelped, and ran off in the corner, licking his hindquarters as cats always do in such situations….