The Ardent Democrat in a Coma

Part I

Many years ago, back when Eisenhower was President and had just had a heart attack, an ardent Democrat was struck by an automobile and lay in a coma for ten years. When he awoke his first thought was about the President.

Anxiously he asked the nurse, “How is President Eisenhower?”

She replied, “I’m sorry, President Eisenhower is dead.”

“Omigod,” said the Democrat, “that means that Nixon is President.”

Part II

Patient: “Huh? What? Where am I?”
Nurse: “You’re in the hospital. You’ve been in a coma.”

Patient: “How long was I in a coma?”
Nurse: “Ten years”

Patient: “Wow… Who’s President?”
Nurse: “Bush”
Patient: (pause)

Patient: “How’s the economy?”
Nurse: “Lotta layoffs”
Patient: (longer pause)

Patient: “Who else is in the White House?”
Nurse: “Cheney and Powell”
Patient: (even longer pause)

Patient: “Are we by any chance bombing Iraq?”
Nurse: “Yep”

Patient: “HOW long was I…”
Nurse: “Ten years”