The Soul Gene

Rome, April 1, 2000

According to a spokesperson for VatGen, a holy owned subsidiary of the Vatican, the gene for the soul has been identified. The search for the soul gene has been a crash project for VatGen during the sequencing of the human genome.

According to the Pope, the human species evolved and acquired souls during the course of evolution by the grace of God. It naturally follows, said B. Ware, chief geneticist for VatGen, that the Lord must have inserted some specific gene in the genome which enabled humans to have souls. VatGen has dedicated its 650 Meg supercomputer to scanning the sequencing data for the genome using the “Here a miracle occurs” algorithm perfected by VatGen programmers.

According to B. Ware, the soul gene has 666 coding base pairs, and an intron which, when translated, reads “ecce homo”. Leading evolutionary theorist Michael Behe commented on the news, “I knew there was intelligent design and this is the proof.”

A worrisome side note to the discovery is that, according to a genetic survey conducted by VatGen, about 40% of the world’s population has a defective soul gene. The Vatican has petitioned WHO, the World Health Organization, to undertake a world eugenics program to sterilize “The Half Souled Ones.” A spokesperson for WHO said that the Vatican’s petition has been accepted but that no immediate reaction is planned.