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Ain’t It The Truth
- I started out with nothing….I still have most of it.
- When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran?
- I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
- Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.
- All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair.
- If all is not lost, where is it?
- It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
- If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
- The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
- I tried to get a life once, but they were out of stock.
- I went to school to become a wit, only got half-way through.
- It was all so different before everything changed.
- Some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the hydrant.
- Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
- Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.
- A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
- I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.
- Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
- When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
- Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
- I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
- He’s not dead. He’s electroencephalographically challenged.
- She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
- You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be
misquoted, then used against you.
- I wonder how much deeper would the ocean be without sponges.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
- Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains
so popular?
- Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- Diplomacy is saying “nice doggy” until you find a rock.
- A day without sun shine is like, you know, night.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Change is inevitable. Except from a vending machine.
This page was last updated October 31, 1997.