The Colonel and the LadyThanks to Larry Hicks A crusty old marine corps colonel found himself at a gala event downtown, hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the colonel for conversation. She said, “Excuse me, sir, but you seem to be a very serious man. Are you this way all the time, or is something bothering you?” “No,” the colonel said, “just serious by nature.” The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.” The colonel’s short reply was, “Yes, a lot of action.” The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little – relax and enjoy yourself.” The colonel just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?” The colonel looked at her and replied, “1955.” She said, “Well there you go; you really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously – I mean, no sex since 1955, isn’t that a little extreme?” The colonel, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, “Oh, I don’t know. It’s only 2130 now!” This page was last updated February 1, 2002. |