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Now About That Grand Cherokee

D. Normansell

D. Normansell passed this on to Alex Quisenberry who, in turn, passed it on to me. Now we know the price of stupidity – just over $30,000.

Michigan, USA.

A guy buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for 30 some thousand dollars and has $400 monthly payments. He immediately gets ahold of his friend and they go do some male bonding. They go duck hunting, and of course all the lakes are frozen.

These 2 Atomic Brains go to the lake with the guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. Remember, it’s all ice and in order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck wants to fly down and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than a ice hole drill.

Out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short, 40 second fuse.

Now these two Rocket Scientists DO take into consideration that if they place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and the new Grand Cherokee), they take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the burning fuse and possibly going up in smoke with the resulting blast. So, they decide to light this 40 second fuse and throw the dynamite, which is what they end up doing.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the beer, the guns AND THE DOG ????

Yes, the dog. A highly trained Black Lab used for retrieving, especially things thrown by the owner.

You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and gets the stick of dynamite with the burning 40 second fuse about the time it hits the ice, all to the dismay of the 2 idiots yelling, stomping, waving arms and wondering what the hell to do now.

The dog, doing his job, heads back from where it came from moments before, with the stick of dynamite, the 2 bozos are now really going ballistic – waving their arms, yelling even louder and jumping to new heights – all of which seems to encourage the dog.

Now one of the guys decides to think, something that has not been done up to this point in our plot, grabs a shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 shot, hardly enough to stop a Black Lab on its appointed rounds. Dog stops for a moment, slightly confused and continues on. Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused & of course scared, thinking these 2 Nobel Prize winners have gone insane, Rover takes off to find cover, with the now really short short fuse burning on this stick of dynamite.

The cover the dogs finds? Underneath the brand new vehicle sitting on the lake ice. Our brave hunters drop their shotguns and run like hell. . .


The dog dies. It and the brand new Grand Cherokee, sink to the bottom of the lake, taking with it all their gear, the discarded shotguns, and the beer, leaving the 2 candidates for Intellectual Co-leaders of the Known Universe standing there with this “I can’t believe this happened” look on their faces. And a long walk home.

Later, the owner of the vehicle calls his insurance company which tells him that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not covered, not even in the clauses which normally cover owner stupidity.

All that is left of this memorable hunting trip is the unused payment booklet for the Grand Cherokee.

This page was last updated November 1, 1997.