Reasons to cheer up!
- The parachute company says you’ll get a full refund!
- The guy from FEMA says the house didn’t float very far at all.
- Well, at least the operation was a partial success.
- The “National Enquirer” just loved those nude shots of you.
- With the lights dimmed, it looks almost normal.
- The District Attorney says he only has a few more questions.
Firstly, how did you come to get possession of a $2 million check
from David Letterman?
- At least the PASSENGER SIDE air bag inflated!
- That belated birthday card you sent to your sister, Mary Edna, made
it’s way to Dame Edna, and now “she” keeps leaving messages on your
- The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars!
- At least WE never thought you were guilty, like that 12-person Jury
- The insurance will pay the full book value ($112) for your 1956 T
Bird you totaled at the 4th of July Parade!
- That thief who broke into your garage, and drove off with your new
Harley, left the push lawn mower and hedge trimmers!
This page was last updated Sep 10, 2011.