Hello and good day to you, my fellow travelers on this magical mystical ark we call earth.

For many moons the many science buffs and buffed scientists of our era have ridiculed we poor creationists about our inability to logically answer some very perplexing and intriguing questions about the ark, the flood and even Noah himself. I would like to answer some of those questions in a direct yet scientifically obtuse manner.

The first question I would like to answer is where did all the water come from and where did it go afterwards. For the sake of those scientific literalists out there I will do so without invoking the much feared and dreaded ‘God Did It’ canard. Then I will address, or redress, the question of ‘ There was no room in the ark’, what was done about Dinos and what the heck was fed to all those hungry beasts.

Part One

It has been suggested, by some very intelligent people, that tectonic plate movement was non-existent before the flood and what we now see either occurred during the flood or at an extremely accelerated rate after the flood. Unfortunately for those very intelligent people, to purloin a phrase “this is just damn silly”. Had the results of mountain building we see today occurred in just one year, Noah would have come across mountains much earlier than we currently believe, not to mention the heat and ash and tsunamis that would have devastated the earth. Lets take a closer look at the height of mountains during the flood year given this postulation. If the water covered all of the mountains plus 100 feet, then tectonics would have to increase the height of the tallest mountains by only a smidgen more than100 ft to be visible above the water. If the activity only raised Everest 100 ft that still leaves a heck of lot of water needed to cover that particular giant molehill. Either we need a pile of water or we need extremely violent and destructive seismic and volcanic activity. Since there are still fish in the sea and fossils in the ground we can assume no such tectonic activity occurred. It’s also pretty tough to gouge the Grand Canyon (supposedly occurred during the initial stages of the flood) out of lava that hadn’t been laid down until after. As for the seismic stuff occurring after the flood, well it would have had to occurred offal damn fast because it’s pretty tough to build societies and pyramids and other cool stuff when you keep getting your dishes rattled by earthquakes. So I think we can safely say that no dramatically increased tectonic activity took place during or after the flood.

Since he had no particular place to go, and had all the time in the world, Noah just kept bob, bob, bobbin along to the sounds of nature. Ah, the sweet smell of success. It wouldn’t be a large leap of faith to assume that the Ark would be pushed around by the all natural and chemical free prevailing ocean currents and winds for that region, although it would be very difficult to predict how the absence of land mass and intense submarine heat would affect either or both of these forces of nature.

If much water came from the depths under the land the resulting drop of the continents would cause more problems than mere earthquakes so we can rule that out…

It looks as though, any way you cut it, we need an enormous mass of water coming from the sky. For this we need a canopy, but not your dime store water vapour canopy, oh no, something much more special than that. We are talking about something that could have existed without causing an increase in pressure and heat, as would the water vapour canopy. And I know just the thing.

It’s well known that oxygen levels were much higher in the past, there is even empirical evidence for it (http://www.spaceref.com/news/viewpr.html?pid=1101) and (http://www.yale.edu/opa/newsr/00-03-06-01.all.html) Although these poor louts assume it was far in the past, in reality it was just a few millennia ago, let’s say just before the flood. If plants are able to grow much larger because of high oxygen levels then too can dinosaurs, either because of some intrinsic advantage of higher O levels or simply to enable them to eat from taller plants.

Interestingly enough, at that time the moon was further away than it is now, in fact considerably farther away. Because of this it had a much reduced affect on the earth, tides were lower, atmosphere was deeper, fewer people went to the ER and werewolves were only half were.

Ha! Gotcha! I just wanted to use the werewolf line.

Seriously though, the Sun is constantly moving within the galaxy, in all three planes. During those travels it passes near and through clouds of cosmic substances such as hydrogen, the most common element in space. On one fateful evening the earth passed through such a cloud, a particularly dense cloud, and thus started the rain. We can even date this occurrence since it would be necessary for the outer planets to be far enough away from the cloud path as to not cause it to dissipate.

Now bumping together atoms of O2 and H is not likely to create water on its own so we need one more event; the passing of an asteroid through that atmosphere mix. The resultant heat split the O2 molecules into bare O atoms and started a chain reaction that combined 2 hydrogen atoms with 1 oxygen atom, thereby producing water droplets, which plummeted to earth as rain. The asteroids passing also increased the earth’s air and water temperature by a few degrees, just enough to start the melting of the polar caps. As the rain fell, through friction, it further increased the temperature of the atmosphere and oceans and through that increase and the kinetic energy released as each drop hit the ice, melted the caps within a few weeks. Unfortunately the authors of Genesis had no knowledge of ice caps so they assumed the source of the rising water was the “fountains of the deep”.

We now have enough water on the earth to float the theory so we now need to find a place to put it all.

To be continued.