Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray my penis I will keep,
And if I wake and it is gone,
I hope I find it on the lawn.
I hope the dog that’s running free
Doesn’t see that part of me
Many precautions I must take
To keep this part I love to shake.
Much attention I must pay
To assure I put the knives away.
The mower, chainsaw, hatchet too
Why, there’s no telling what she’d do
To rid me of my manly charm
I must keep it safe, away from harm.
So I cross my fingers as I close my eyes
And I cross my legs to avoid surprise.