On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my wallet I had a $50 bill and a $2 bill. That is all of the cash I had on my person. I figured that with a $2 bill, I could get something to eat and not have to worry about people getting upset with me for using a big bill. This is how it played out:
ME: “Hi, I’d like one seven layer burrito please, to go.”
At his point I open my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny and says
IT: “Uh, hang on a sec, I’ll be right back.”
He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them.
IT: “Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?”
He comes back to me and says
IT: “We don’t take these. Do you have anything else?”
He goes back to his manager who is watching me like I’m going to shoplift, and
IT: “He says I have to take it.”
The manager approaches me and says
MG: “Sorry, we don’t take big bills this time of night.”
[it was 8pm and this particular Taco Bell is in a well-lighted indoor
mall with 100 other stores.]
At this point he BACKS away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people STARING at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in and says [at the other end of counter, in a whisper]
SG: “Yeah, Mike, what’s up?”
Security guard walks over to me and says
SG: “Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you’re trying to
At this point I was ready to say, “SURE, PLEASE,” but I wanted to eat, so I said
ME: “I’m just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this $2 bill.” I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I was taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says
SG: “Mike, what’s wrong with this bill?”
The security guard and I both looked at him like he was an idiot, and it dawned on the guy that he had no clue.
My burrito was free and he threw in a small drink and those cinnamon things, too. Makes me want to get a whole stack of $2 bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.
This page was last updated October 1, 2007.