Lowering the bar
Things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
WITNESS: We both do.
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one..
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? ______________________________________
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
This page was last updated April 1, 2007.