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A Village Named Affectation

Paris Flammonde’s (see A Parisian Midnight’s Summer Dream) expostulations evidently set my artistic juices to flowing. The following little squib was also composed in commentary. Apologies to Paul Bunyan, of course.

When I was a lad, as young then as I now am old, I dwelt in a village named Affectation which lay nearby the town of Vanity. We had a booth in the Fair and did quite well thereby, for our wares were much prized amongst the inhabitants who attended the Fair.

Our little village had its own notables. There was Lord Sneerwell and Lady Condescension and Squire Pretense. It was not the principal dwelling place of Lord and Lady Fashion (who had a great house in Vanity) but they kept a Hunting Box there in Affectation and were greatly fond of hunting game. The Viscount of Wannabe wrote his poetry there as a sometimes guest of Lady Fashion.

The village of Affectation was noted for its air which was of a peculiar constitution, so thick that one could wear it like a cloak. Such cloaks were our most popular ware in the Fair for, no sooner did one put on an air of Affectation then did one become important in their own eyes.

Affectation is a fine village and there is much of interest to be found there. In the end, however, I tired of it all and moved on, for Affectation is but a suburb of Vanity.

This page was last updated July 26, 1997.