How it really happened

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem!”

What’s the problem, Eve?”

“Lord, I know you’ve created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I’m just not happy.”

“Why is that, Eve?” came the reply from above.

“Lord, I am lonely. And I’m sick to death of apples.”

“Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you.”

“What’s a ‘man’, Lord?”

“This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he’ll give you a hard time. But, he’ll be bigger & faster & more muscular than you. He’ll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball about & hunting fleet-footed ruminants, & not altogether bad in the sack.”

“Sounds great,” says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.

“Yeah, well. He’s better than a poke in the eye with a blunt stick. But, you can have him on one condition.”

“What’s that, Lord?”

“You’ll have to let him believe that I made him first.”