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Collected editorials

Hey, Dude!

Whatever happened to July?

Somehow something happened to July. Somebody removed a large number of pages from the calendar while I wasn't looking. Here I am, all ready to work for the next two weeks to get out the August issue and it is already the 29th. There is an excellent verbal formula that is useful in situations such as this - the situation admits of no explanation.

Entertaining viruses

I suppose it is time to make a confession. One of the more entertaining viruses floating about is the "dude" virus. Victims of the virus send out emails to all and sundry on their mailing lists, emails that demand the return of money from "dude". Since my email address is on a large number of address lists (1,048,576 at last counting) I get inordinate amounts of all kinds of random trash, including numerous instances of the "dude" virus (or is it a worm?).

In the beginning I actually replied to some of these. However I long ceased bothering - I don't mind the title "Speaker to computers" but "Speaker to viruses" is pushing it. Nowadays when I get one of these little bits I just make up a smartass answer and post it in the correspondence column. Is this cheating? I suppose so, but you have to remember that reality and I were never on the best of terms. Why, then, should my correspondence column be exempt?

School Girl

Our Lady of the Large Black Dog has taken to improving herself. It should be understood that this improvement is of her professional qualifications; her personal attributes are both impeccable and delightful, and could scarcely be improved upon. To this end she is taking a series of examinations that, when passed, certify that she is qualified to sell various kinds of insurance.

She has been spending much of her free time bent over large manuals that explain the particulars of insurance regulations in obsessive detail. Every so often she then traipses down to Sioux Falls where she spends an hour or two to take yet another test. (Having to drive 190 miles to take a test is another of the many delightful features of central South Dakota.)

Her latest undertaking was something called series six. It seems that if you sell certain insurance products such as variable annuities you have to become a registered securities dealer. It took me a while to realize where the title came from; however it finally dawned on me. Series Six is so called because it was composed in the sixth circle of Hell, that being the one where all of the attorneys are sent.

I am pleased to announce that she passed the test on the first go, this being an achievement that many are not up to, and is now qualified to be a registered security dealer. I dare say, though, that I am not nearly as pleased as she is. I am impressed. The material for these courses and tests is dry and voluminous. I suspect that there is a company called Sahara Concepts that specializes in excessively dry material, and that her manuals (and the tests) are all products of Sahara Concepts Ltd.

A Mother's Good Son

In early June (how appropriate) there was a dedication ceremony for the June Harter Waterfowl Production Area. As part of the big do yours truly put together a brochure for the occasion. My sister Lois and the USFW offical, Harris Hoistad, bled all over it and improved it substantially. I've put it on-line. You can find it at: http://richardhartersworld.com/~cri_c/june/brochure.html

Quarter Horses Redux

One of the problems with having an absurdly large web site and living in Highmore is that people think that I actually know something about putting web sites together. The truth is, I don't. Almost ten years ago I started a web site. I acquired a book on HTML and worked out a few tricks of the trade that allowed me to put a web site together. I haven't bothered to update my database of HTML knowledge since then. I don't know and am not in any rush to learn PSP, ASP, java, javascript (actually I do know that one), and any of the other web based languages. I don't use front page, dream weaver, or even back page. My site doesn't have click through ads, pop ups, pop unders, or pop overs. It doesn't launch new windows. It doesn't have style sheets, frames, or anything else the least bit fancy. It's rude and crude, dude. However it looks okay and loads fast. I get upwards of half a million visitors a year so I must be doing something right.

As I say people hereabouts think that I know what I am doing. (At least they are kind enough to give me that impression.) Thus it is that Brady and Wendi Rinehart, Deborah's brother and sister-in-law, prevailed upon me to create a web site for them. They have Quarter Horses for sale. You need a Quarter Horse. Buy a Quarter Horse from them.

Their web site is a work in progress. Sometime in early August you will be able to view it at http://www.rinehartquarterhorses.com/. In the meantime you can view the work in progress at http://richardhartersworld.com/~cri_d/.

This page was last updated August 1, 2005.
It was reformatted and moved October 16, 2006

table of contents
Collected editorials