Medical Bloopers From Actual Patients Medical Charts
- "Surgery will be performed under General Anastasia."
- "Since she can't conceive I've sent her to a futility expert."
- "I saw your patient yesterday, who's still under our car for
- "There was some concern about financial matters, but the patient
was told she could apply for pubic assistance."
- "After her last child she had her tubs tied."
- "Infection resulted after she pimped a few popples"
- "Social history reveals this 1 year old patient does not smoke or
drink and is presently unemployed."
- "Patient called and left word that he had expired last week."
- "When she fainted her eyes rolled around the room."
- "While she was in the emergency room, she was examined, x-rated,
and sent home."
- "This chubby youngster needs a slim adult to look up to as a role
- "I keep reassuring her that her memory will improve, but again
today she forgot to pay her bill."
- "He's a ten month old male who called on the day of admission to
complain that his asthma was worse and he still has left otitis
- "Patient is to remain plastered for the next 6 to 8 weeks."
- "She got my instructions messed up and cut out all exercise and
increased her sweets."
- "He's rather sedentary and drives a bust all day."
- "Bleeding began in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los
- "I've asked him to call and let me know who he's feeling this
- "Patient came in today complaining of chronic vaginal affection."
- "Rectal exam reveals normal-size thyroid."
- "His prognosis was poor, having a massive cerebral hemorrhoid."
~ "Following the exam of her breasts we discussed the impending nasal
- "Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus-sized."
This page was last updated January 1, 2008.