Hyde County, South Dakota is the Pin Tail Duck Capital of the world. Visit scenic Highmore, SD in 2006!
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January 2006
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If Santa Answered His Mail Honestly...

Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yeer.
YeR FReND, BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How 'bout I send you a book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!
Santa


Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa


Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
What? Do you really think your dad is going to quit banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane, son? Let me get you a nice Lego set instead.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face. You want to kiss my butt? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa


Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you making Toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most my time squeezing cocktail waitresses butts, and losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa


Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa


Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Hey Timmy,
That whiny begging shtick may work with your folks, but that b.s. doesn't work up here. You're getting a sweater, again.
Santa


This page was last updated January 1, 2006.

Richard Harter's World
Site map
Humor
January 2006
email
Hyde County, South Dakota is the Pin Tail Duck Capital of the world. Visit scenic Highmore, SD in 2006!