Things she learned from her boys
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
- A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
- If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
- A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can,
to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
- You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long
- The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.
- When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already
- Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
- A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
- Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
- Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
- Super glue is forever.
- No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.
- Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
- VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.
- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
- Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
- You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do
not like ovens.
- The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
- It will, however, make cats dizzy.
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
- 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake
- Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or
This page was last updated August 1, 2005.