What NOT to say on a first Date!
- "This is my apartment, but don't break anything, or you'll have to pay
- "Here, have a tic-tac. It's on me."
- (To the waitress) "Could I have your phone number?"
- "Before we go back to my place -- you're not afraid of
cockroaches, are you?"
- "I really had a good time tonight, uh, um, what the hell was your name
- "Hey, check out the babe sittin' in the corner. Wow, what a body!"
- "What? Oh, I thought you were paying."
- "Nice dress. I have one at home just like it."
- "So my hand slipped, and the knife cut about half an inch into my
thumb, and the blood was gushing all over the place, so I went to the
emergency room to have it stitched up, but it kept throbbing, and
swelling, and, oh, but I see you're eating."
- "I want to move out, but my mom really needs me. And, who else
is gonna make my lunch? And my bed? And clean my room?"
- "No, I don't have a job. I spend all my time in the basement.
I'm building a submarine, when I'm not playing with my inflatable
- (Looking at her plate) "Are you going to finish that?"
- "The mother ship will be returning next June. Then I'll be
leaving for Neptune. Hey, here's a thought. You should come with
- "My old girlfriend, Lisa, was so beautiful. She looked kind of
like you. I used to bring her here all the time. Do you mind if I
call you Lisa?"
- "Well, I don't go out in public all too often. And I don't like to be touched, so don't touch
me. And try not to stare at me. And let me know if anybody else is staring at me."
This page was last updated November 1, 2004.