Do it yourself surgery
Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation and was about to close, the patient awakes, sits up and demands to know what is going on.
"I'm about to close," the surgeon says.
The patient grabs the surgeon's hand and says, "I'm not going to let you do that! I'll close my own incision!"
The surgeon hands him the thread and says, "Suture self".
This page was last updated January 1, 2003.