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July 2003
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The Unfortunate Highjacker

A plane is in mid-flight way out over the ocean when suddenly the cockpit door bursts open to reveal an armed, masked hi- jacker to a startled pilot, copilot, navigator, and stewardess.

He holds his gun at the pilot's head and says, "Take this plane to Cuba or I'm gonna spill your brains all over the place!"

The pilot calmly reaches up, pushes the gun aside and says, "Look buddy, if you shoot me this plane will crash right into the sea and you'll die along with the rest of us."

The hijacker thinks about this and then holds the gun at the copilot's head and says, "Take this plane to Cuba or I'm gonna spill HIS brains all over the place."

But the copilot also calmly reaches up, pushes the gun aside and says, "Listen to me. The pilot's got a bad heart and he could keel over at the shock of my being killed like that. So if you shoot me, this plane will still crash right into the sea and you'll die along with the rest of us."

The hijacker thinks about this for a moment and then holds the gun at the navigator's head and says, "Take this plane to Cuba or I'm gonna spill HIS brains all over the place."

But the navigator calmly reaches up, pushes the gun aside and says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you. Those other two guys have no sense of direction. Without me they couldn't find their way out of a paper bag much less get this plane to Cuba. So if you shoot me, this plane will still crash right into the sea and you'll die along with the rest of us."

The hijacker thinks some more, shrugs and this time holds the gun at the stewardess's head and says, "Take this plane to Cuba or I'm gonna spill HER brains all over the place."

No one says a word but the stewardess leans over and whispers something into the hijacker's ear.

The hijacker turns beet red, drops his gun, and runs out of the cockpit in a panic.

Later after the crew has tracked down the hijacker (whom they found cowering behind some crates in the hold) and tied him up, the pilot asks the stewardess what she said that terrified the man so.

"I told him, sir, that if he killed me, HE'd be the one who'd have to give you guys your blowjobs...."


This page was last updated July 1, 2003.

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July 2003
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