Classic Quotes From Feisty Ladies
"I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not
dumb...and I also know that I'm not blonde."
"You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a
smart woman with a dumb guy."
"I think, therefore I'm single."
"In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want
anything done, ask a woman."
"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
"When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade
"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch."
"Behind every successful man is a surprised woman."
"If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them.'
"Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry."
"Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they
should live next door and just visit now and then."
"I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on."
"I look just like the girls next door... if you happen to live next
door to an amusement park."
"I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's
because it's cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know THAT?"
"Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an
assistant professor. It is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly
promoted as a male schlemiel."
"I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his
"Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths."
"If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your
"I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog."
"I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told
me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that
feels GOOD for 36 hours."
"I figure if the children are alive when he gets home, I've done my
"He tricked me into marrying him. He told me he was pregnant."
This page was last updated October 1, 2003.