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February 2001
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Impediments

A blonde is standing by the first tee, waiting for her golf lesson from the resident professional. A foursome is in process of teeing off. The first golfer addresses the ball and swings, hitting it 230 yards straight down the middle of the fairway.

"That was a good shot," said the blonde.

"Not bad considering my impediment," said the golfer.

"What do you mean?" said the blonde.

"I have a glass eye," said the golfer.

"I don't believe you, show me," said the blonde.

He popped his eye out and showed her.

The next golfer addresses the ball and swings, hitting it 240 yards straight down the middle of the fairway.

"That was a good shot," said the blonde.

"Not bad considering my impediment," said the golfer.

"What's wrong with you?" said the blonde.

"I have a prosthetic arm," said the golfer.

"I don't believe you, show me" said the blonde, so he screwed his arm off and showed her.

The next golfer addresses the ball and swings, hitting it 250 yards straight down the middle of the fairway.

"That was a good shot," said the blonde.

"Not bad considering my impediment," said the golfer.

"What's wrong with you?" said the blonde.

"I have a prosthetic leg," said the golfer.

"I don't believe you, show me" said the blonde, so he screwed his leg off and showed her.

The fourth golfer addresses the ball and swings, hitting it 280 yards straight down the middle of the fairway.

"That was a wonderful shot," said the blonde.

"Not bad considering my impediment," said the golfer.

"What's wrong with you?" said the blonde. "I have an artificial heart," said the golfer.

"I don't believe you, show me" said the blonde.

"I can't show you out here in the open," said the golfer. "Come around here behind the Pro-Shop."

As they had not returned within five minutes, his golfing mates decided to go and see what was holding them up.

As they turned the corner behind the Pro-Shop, sure enough, there he was, screwing his heart out.


This page was last updated February 1, 2001.

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February 2001
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